Content warning: sexual assault.
Two nights ago on a walk down 8th avenue in New York City, I saw a spectacular array of Halloween costumes. Times Square sparkled with witches, Ghostbusters, Waldos, puns and more, emerging from the depths of subways and cramped apartments for Halloweekend. Though it is typically considered a holiday for children, Halloween still has remarkable appeal with young adults, who flaunt their costumes in bars and clubs. It’s a chance to take off one’s regular clothes and play dress-up. At the end of the night, party-goers take off their makeup and their costumes. They return to the comfort of regularity and the self.
For some, however, the self is not the most comfortable place.
Maybe you don’t like the way your body looks or you’re often judged for your appearance. Maybe you have depression or anxiety or both, and it’s hard to get out of your head. Maybe you have a bad, bad memory behind a closed door.
For a sexual assault victim, the self is an uncomfortable place. An assault victim cannot pull off the costume at the end of the day, because a permanent transformation has occurred. An assault victim cannot play the victim and then return to a normal life.
This isn’t intended to dampen your Halloween spirits. It is intended, however, to remind you of a very real and haunting transformation that occurred on September 27th. I bring it up because the story hasn’t ended. Whether we choose to talk about them or not, stories of sexual assault haunt our present as well as our past.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony reminded me of a myth retold by the ancient Roman poet Ovid. In this particular story from Metamorphoses, a beautiful young nymph named Io wanders alone outside and catches the eye of Jupiter. It is high noon when he sees her and calls down to her, suggesting she rest in the shade. Io runs. She sprints out of the woods, far from where the shade could conceal what is about to happen. But Jupiter casts a dark shadow. The cloud covers them. Hidden from view, Jupiter rapes her.
When Juno comes to investigate the dark cloud, Jupiter transforms Io into a heifer. Juno asks if she can have the heifer as a gift, and Jupiter agrees; a refusal would create more suspicion. Juno then sends Argus, a 100-eyed monster, to watch over Io day and night. Jupiter takes pity on Io and sends the messenger god, Mercury, to kill Argus. Juno, livid after finding Argus dead and Jupiter sympathizing with the bovine, sends a Fury (one of the infernal goddesses of vengeance) after Io.
Io flees and runs across the world. She does not stop until she reaches the Nile river. There, she collapses to her knees, raises her head to the heavens and groans, pleading. Jupiter beseeches Juno to end Io’s misery, and at long last she does.
Io returns to her human form. Her horns and hair disappear, her shoulders shrink, her hooves become fingers. The story ends as Io tries, for the first time in years, to speak.
Officioque pedum nymphe contenta duorum
erigitur metuitque loqui, ne more iuvencae
mugiat, et timide verba intermissa retemptat.
And the nymph, grateful for the privilege of two feet, is lifted up by them, and is afraid to speak, lest she moo in the manner of a heifer, and timidly tries words again, having been long interrupted.
- Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Book 1, lines 743-745.
In this final scene, Ovid shifts from using the passive voice to the active voice, symbolizing Io’s shift from a helpless bovine to an empowered human. The final verb, retemptat, indicates a rediscovery of the voice Io lost.
There are many other scenes of sexual assault in Metamorphoses, some far more violent. They all follow a general pattern: a young girl wanders outside alone, gets assaulted, and undergoes metamorphosis.
The symbolism is glaring.
Once a person undergoes sexual assault, the chance of a normal life disappears. A door to the future closes.
“Brett and Mark came into the bedroom and locked the door behind them.”
– Christine Blasey Ford
The alleged assault of Dr. Ford was hidden, as was the assault of Io. Jupiter knew he was doing something that should not be seen. He hid Io in a cloud.
“There was music playing in the bedroom. It was turned up louder…”
– Christine Blasey Ford
Like Io, Dr. Ford was at a liminal age, on the threshold of becoming a woman. Like Io, her assault was transformational. Io could not speak in her dehumanized state. When she saw her new reflection in the water, she ran from it. She saw herself as the monster. Similarly, sexual assault victims do not often come forward. There is a sense of blame that they put on themselves. There is unspeakable pain behind that closed door. There is fear.
The consequences of the rape followed Io wherever she went in the form of Argus. His many-eyed gaze imprisoned and haunted her.
“The details about that night . . . have been seared into my memory, and have haunted me episodically as an adult.”
– Christine Blasey Ford
When Juno found Argus dead and thus found out the truth, she sent a Fury to chase after Io. Io was forced to flee.
“My family and I were forced to move out of our home.”
– Christine Blasey Ford
Yet despite the pain and suffering Io endured, she regained her power at the end of the story. It is perhaps why I am so drawn to her story out of all the tales in Metamorphoses. She is one of the few characters to transform back to her original form. Terrified, she stood and she spoke.
Despite her terror, Dr. Ford stood, swore in and spoke. In that moment, a transformation occurred. She was no longer a name in the national news, silent except for a letter intended to be anonymous. She rediscovered her voice, which had been lost for so long.
“I tried to yell for help. When I did, Brett put his hand over my mouth to stop me from yelling. This is what terrified me the most and has had the most lasting impact on my life.”
– Christine Blasey Ford
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